What We Know So Far
- It’s true that rewiring is the key. After all, all learning requires some sort of rewiring. But you have to know the right things to rewire.
- There are two types of people: seekers and chasers. Adopting a seeker mindset, where you’re willing to look past what’s there on the surface is the key to successful prostate play.
It’s About the Skills
For all the talk of prostate orgasms, including that most mythical of beasts—the Super-O—good information is in short supply. Sure, there are a ton of tactics. But finding principles to tie them all together? Not so much.
So we need to start with the most basic of questions:
What is it you’re really after?
The real answer? Skills.
And this matters in no small way.
Because even though prostate orgasms may be unfamiliar territory, skills are something we all know.
After all, there are a lot of paths to a Super-O. But until you get there, it feels like you’re driving in pitch black without a compass.
And there’s a reason for that, I might add.
It’s because you’re not just trying to sift through the puzzle pieces. Each person’s path is a little different, so as you read one account after the next, you have to know that you’re putting together pieces from different puzzles, too.
And this is where skills come in.
Because like everything else, no matter what path you take, there are certain underlying principles that connect the dots. And along with that come certain unifying skills.
OK. Got it. Skills matter. So what skills do I need?
Woah, woah, woah…before we dive into the deep end of the pool, hold up just a bit.
I’ll break down the skill of all skills—The Pleasure Shift Technique—later. I promise. But it won’t do a thing if you don’t do it right.
So before we get there, let’s start looking at the puzzle pieces and see how prostate orgasms work.
It really is like driving in the dark without a compass. You can have all the skills in the world, but if you don’t know which direction is north and you can’t see where you’re going, it won’t matter.
Skills doesn’t just mean ability. Skills means knowing how and when to use them.
In other words, context is everything.
And this takes us to the 3 Deadly Prostate Play Sins.
The Aneros Problem (i.e. Super-Os Aren’t About What You Think)
So here’s something a lot of people don’t realize:
You really don’t need to squeeze your PC or your sphincter to have a prostate orgasm.
You also don’t need to take a warm bath or a hot shower before you start. You don’t need to stick a syringe full of lube to get yourself ready. You don’t need involuntaries. You don’t need toys. In short, you don’t need any of the things you hear about.
Have you ever heard of an A-less orgasm?
It’s just a prostate orgasm without any prostate stimulation. Weird, right? Sounds impossible.
At least that’s what I thought, but it’s a thing.
Not just a thing, in fact, but a common thing.
Most people learn about it after they’ve had a Super-O. But you can even start out that way and skip the whole prostate stimulation thing altogether.
My point being that it’s really about mental focus.
In fact, if you know how to combine awareness with the right breathing it will give you all the stimulation you need.
So this idea that there’s a rigid paint-by-numbers path or some secret you absolutely have to know? Naw. Sure, some tricks can be helpful. Super helpful. But more than anything, it’s about feeling what your body what it wants.
Now About Those Aneros Instructions
This is from Aneros:
“Maintaining a midway of contraction is difficult—anal muscles will quiver and may spasm causing a slow vibration that corresponds to the muscle’s involuntary movements. Because the Aneros massager is suspended unstably within the anal canal, the slightest muscular action and even the pulsing of blood vessels infiltrating the anal canal and surrounding the prostate is picked up by the Aneros massager and directly reflected upon the anal canal, prostate and the perineum acupressure point. These stimulations are positively fed back to the anus, and this chain reaction accelerates to a nearly explosive point.”
Wow. That’s a mouthful.
It all sounds quite science-y. Makes it feel really legit.
But it misses the mark for two big reasons.
Deadly Prostate Sin #1: Thou Shalt Not Chase Techniques
Skills don’t exist in a vacuum. They have to be developed. A skill is about how well you can do it, how much you’ve internalized it, and how much effort it takes to execute. Half-baked skills get you half-baked results.
In other words, you have to take the time to make them become a part of you.
The instructions make it sound like the Aneros toys do the work for you.
And, yeah, that happens. But only for a fraction of the people out there.
For most, sex toys are really more like training wheels. You don’t want to confuse them with the learning itself.
What you have to understand is that you could follow the exact Aneros instructions on Day 1 and get absolutely no result (trust me, I know). Then do the same thing on Day 300 and blow your mind through the roof (yep, been there, too).
As skills sink in, you change, and your results change.
So it’s not about Day 1. And it’s not about Day 300. It’s about how you get from one to the other.
Which takes us to…
Deadly Prostate Sin #2: Thou Shalt Not Chase Pleasure Alone
I know, I know. This sounds like it’s coming out of cray-cray land.
I mean, if it’s not about pleasure, what’s the point?
But what I’m really saying here is that pleasure isn’t what gets most people to the finish line. Of course you want pleasure. But there’s more to it than just that.
Even though the passage from Aneros doesn’t actually say the word “pleasure,” you’d think that once you stimulate the right spot with the right tension, you’ll trigger a pleasure loop that gets you on the express train to O-town.
Pleasure isn’t one dimensional. It’s not just a magic spot. You don’t just trigger a prostate orgasm like a string of dominos waiting to be tipped over.
Yes, there’s a percentage of people, who are pre-wired.
People whose bodies are so ready to go that it really is like dominoes. You hit the spot, and it’s go-time.
For them, you can skip most of the skill-building and dive straight into it.
But in general, if you accept that you’re building a skill, then the better way to think of things is that pleasure is really the byproduct of the right process. It will come when you use your skills right.
So if pleasure isn’t what we’re after, then what are we really looking for?
Here’s a little about my early experiences for context.
Typically I got relaxed. I lubed up. I stuffed the toy in. It felt weird. A little good. A little like I needed to pee. And then I waited.
I tried to contract my PC. Maybe 20% 25%. Whatever fit the mood.
There was some quivering. A tiny bit of something that felt OK. Even one or two moments of real pleasure. But the longer I waited, the less that happened. I started to get bored. I tried squeezing more and more. Nothing.
As things went on, some sessions that almost felt magical. But there were even more where I finished frustrated and desperate, chasing the result.
It was all the more frustrating because of the stories…
People who shot their load across entire rooms. People who felt fire shoot up their spine. Out-of-body experiences. Puddles of bliss. Pleasure. Love.
These were the stories about the people who just had it.
They didn’t need the practice or the skills. Things just came.
And there was me.
Lying there. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
The thing is, once you’ve done some basic rewiring, prostate stimulation is generally enjoyable. But I felt like I had no control. The pleasure was temperamental and inconsistent, and I kept wondering what I was missing.
But then I realized I was focusing on the wrong thing.
I didn’t see the real key to pleasure.
Up to that point, I had been asking how to create more pleasure. But what I didn’t think to ask was: How do you make pleasure build up? The answer is traction.
And traction is totally different from pleasure.
Think about it.
What really makes penile stimulation so unique isn’t how good it feels. It’s that the pleasure keeps growing. That’s traction.
If you can create traction for any type of stimulation, you’ll eventually orgasm. Even if it were light stimulation, as long as it keeps growing, it would eventually become overpowering.
For example, there’s a guy who can’t feel from the waist down who learned to have orgasms with his thumbs. Not to mention there are countless tutorials out there to tell you how to train yourself to have orgasms from nipple stimulation.
What’s really different when it comes to all things penile isn’t the pleasure. It’s the traction. Penile stimulation naturally keeps growing. For other sensations, like prostate play, you have to learn how to create traction.
And that’s the target we really need.
So let’s start looking at how traction works as we cover the 4 Pleasure Principles.
Summing It Up
- Prostate orgasms are about skill-building and all that comes with skill-building. Most notably, giving your body time to develop the skill and learning how to use the skill.
- The Aneros instructions are problematic, because they oversimplify the process without giving you context, and because they implicitly suggest that finding the right pleasure point will create a feedback loop, when it’s not really about pleasure.
- The key element to achieving a prostate orgasm is traction, which is the ability to make a feeling build up. Even early on, it’s not difficult to feel some pleasure. But it’s much harder to make it grow and grow.