In case you didn’t know, prostate orgasms are having a moment. And over the course of the next 7,859 words (plus or minus a few) you’ll get the full blow-by-blow guide to see exactly how you can reach absurd levels of bliss.
Fair Warning: This is not for the faint of heart. It takes some work. The post is looong. And, well, it’s ever so slightly contentious.
My body twitched, every fiber of every muscle taut. My head felt like it was going to explode from pure, undistilled bliss. And waves of pleasure ripped through me. Over and over. For hours on end.
It was like no orgasm I’ve ever known. Or even thought possible.
And in that moment, everything I ever knew about pleasure changed because of two words: Prostate. Orgasm.
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Also known as prostate milking or P-spot massage—call it what you want—they are, without exaggeration or overstatement, the most life-altering sexual experience you’ll ever know.
And I’ll break down exactly what you need to do to have one yourself.
Now let me say this one last time: There’s A LOT here. Be ready.
But I’ve tried quicker and easier ways. I’ve poured through post after post. In fact, I’ve tried just about everything out there. And what I’ve put here is what I wish someone told me.
So, yeah, it takes some work to get to the finish line. But if you think you know about sexual pleasure, think again. In fact, the way prostate orgasms work is so foreign and flat out bizarre that if it weren’t for all those accounts out there, I’d never believe it.
And what do they feel like?
Here’s a nice description from Reddit:
“I let out a loud groan, and then clapped my hand over my mouth. No one was home but I’d never experienced that before. When it hit, it fucking hit. A wave smashing into my groin, wave after wave smashing over the rest of my body.
My skin felt super receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp…Multiple volleys of semen flew across the room, managing to hit the opposite wall. When it was over I was still quivering. Gasping for air and trying to touch my body. I grazed my nipples and nearly had a seizure. Do try it.”
So you ready?
Then grab a cuppa joe, play some smooth tunes, and settle in.
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What We’ll Cover
(A quick note: If you’ve already tried to have a prostate orgasm, but you can’t quite figure out what you’re missing, you may want to check out the advanced guide here.)
- What is a prostate orgasm?
- The greater reality of prostate orgasms
- The three overarching keys
- Picking Your Toolkit
- Creating unbearable pleasure
- How to get turned on
- How to warm up
- Positioning your body
- Stimulating the prostate
- The Bumper Technique: What to think about
So what exactly is a prostate orgasm?
Prostate orgasms are as they sound.
In simple terms, there’s an area known as the P-spot, which you could think of as the male equivalent of the G-Spot. And basically, you hit the P-spot. It feels ridiculously good. Then kablooey. It’s pleasure city, baby.
Of course, that’s only half the story.
But we’ll get to that.
First, know that there are several flavors types of prostate orgasms.
On one end of the spectrum, there’s something known as a Super-O. It’s a tectonic, world-shifting, full-body orgasm that you feel all over. Some people even have outer body experiences and feelings of pure bliss.
Typically, there’s no ejaculation involved, so they’re also called dry orgasms.
There are also wet orgasms.
These are much more similar to the feeling you know as an orgasm, except they’re triggered through the prostate, so it feels fuller and less localized.
Now, keep in mind, there are also any number of variations in between. So don’t worry about the labels.
Just know there’s a ton of experiences out there and the more you enjoy whatever it is that happens to you without judgement, the more intense it will be.
Now, back to the slightly messier truth of it all.
The Greater Reality of Prostate Orgasms
OK. I’ve held back a little.
So, yes, there’s a P-Spot…
And it’s true that stimulating it the right way can trigger a prostate orgasm…
But it doesn’t quite work the way most people think. In fact, it’s fully possible — even fairly common — to be able to have a prostate orgasm without actually stimulating the prostate at all.
(Yes, for real.)
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Super bizarre, I know. But there’s even a term for it: A-less orgasms (the A refers to Aneros, a top manufacturer of prostate massagers). And, again, with just a bit of clicking, you can hear story after story.
And this isn’t anything new, I might add.
Various tantric and energetic disciplines have well-established paths to climaxing without a trace of physical stimulation.
But I mention this simply to point out that even if you do use physical stimulation, what’s going on in your mind is as important as what goes on in your body.
So despite how it sounds, you don’t just rub it and shove it, and — blammo — your head gushes with joy.
I mean, sure, that happens for some. And to them? Huzzah.
But if you come at it expecting instant results from a paint-by-numbers approach to work, odds are, you’re going to be sorely disappointed.
There’s a way you have to do things.
So instead of treating it like there’s a magic-button and hunkering down on Anatomy 101, I’m going to focus on what actually matters: What you need to do to feel more deeply and powerfully.
Because there are basically two groups of prostate owners.
The first group is so wired up for prostate orgasms, everything just happens. If you’re in this small minority, well, you don’t need most of this.
But then there’s the second group. Which is most of us.
And people in the second group need to rewire their bodies to feel the prostate stimulation differently. And that means it’ll take a little time and you’ll need to build a few skills.
Now, how extensive the rewiring needs to be will vary from person to person.
It might just be teaching your body to reinterpret all the ass-play stuff, so it doesn’t feel like a trip to the doctor’s for a prostate exam. But it can also mean reworking each part of how you feel pleasure, arousal, and even how your mind reacts to all of it.
And how long will it take?
Well, that depends, too. For some people it might be a month. For others, it might be a year.
I know, I know.
A freaking year?!? Why would anyone bother?
Well, first, as we’ve established, prostate orgasms are super awesome. But, also, even before you get to the finish line, a good session can still take down even a great rub and tug.
Now, before diving in, one last thing. Bruce Lee once said:
I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.
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That’s everything, right there.
You might think it’s all about what you do. You might think it’s about the secret. Or you get hung up on finding the one weird trick that makes it all happen.
But that’s now how it goes.
What’s going to get you from here to there isn’t what you do. It’s how well you do it.
Let’s get started.
The Three Overarching Keys
There are three keys you absolutely must understand. No matter what tools you use and what approach you take, these are essential.
Big Ol’ Orgasm Secret #1: Feeling happens in reverse
There’s a certain sort of ripple effect that happens with prostate sensations. It’s hard to lock down in the beginning, but once you really feel it, they take on a life of their own.
So at first, it’s like a pin dropping.
In a quiet room, you’ll easily hear the pin hitting the ground. But in a noisy room, you won’t notice a thing.
But in this case, the quiet room is your mind. And what you have to do is kill the noise noise and distraction in your brain, so you can feel even the smallest trace of a sensations.
If you can’t do that, and you can’t kick off the ripple effect.
So unlike regular orgasms, it’s not about pushing harder. Avoid all temptation to try to turn up the volume or push through things. It’s all about tuning into your body’s sensations.
The more you do that, the more you’ll get the feels.
Big Ol’ Orgasm Secret #2: Relaxing into it
So this is weird, but the reason it’s all about quieting your mind is because you have to be relaxed to have a Super-O.
Tension is prostate orgasm death.
Now, normally, penile orgasms are all tension. Go faster. Go harder. Climb up the hill, and bam. But not so with prostate play. You have to dive into the feelings that are swimming around in your body. You relax and give in.
Yoda said it right: Do or not do. There is no try.
Try, and I guarantee you that you’ll fail. Avoid all temptation to tense up and stay relaxed.
Big Ol’ Orgasm Secret #3: Turning pleasure into arousal
This is a little more nuanced. But going back to what I said about rewiring, it’s important to know that pleasure itself isn’t always enough.
For some of you, it’ll be like flipping a switch. Once the good feelings start to roll, they’ll just keep on rolling.
But for a lot of you, even when things feel uh-mazing, you still won’t get lift off, and you’ll be thinking WTF?
If so, you’ll have to learn to rewire yourself to build up your arousal, too. Most people never really think about it, but arousal is very different from pleasure.
And keep in mind, if you’ve never even tried playing with your prostate, I’m jumping the gun in talking about this. It’s a more advanced concept.
But just know about it.
And when you’re ready, if you want to take a deep dive on the subject, check out my intermediate guide to prostate orgasms to get the scoop. It’s looong, but I go deep into the subtleties that make the difference.
What You Need to Get Started
OK. Tools. How do you pleasure your prostate?
Well, you can use a finger. You can use anything remotely phallic. There’s even a story on Reddit about a guy who got off using a drumstick (not recommended). And, as we’ve established, you can do it through thought alone.
But I’m going to suggest one specific tool: Prostate massagers.
Why? Because if you’re not predisposed to easy prostate orgasms, it’s what will probably work the best. Definitely beats the heck out of a drumstick.
Which massager should you get?
There are gobs of sex toy reviews out there, so I’m not going to go into a ton of detail about each option out there.
But I will say when I got started, I had it in my head that the right toy was the key to it all. So, I bought toy after toy after toy. I’m not even going to tell you how many. But embarrassing quantities.
And what did I learn? It’s not about the toys.
Do they matter? Somewhat. Maybe. Depends who you are.
Are some are better than others: Yes, some are.
But skills rule. Toys are secondary.
As for what’s best, the right toy is the one that fits your anatomy and preferences, and that’s going to be different for everyone. What works for me isn’t what will necessarily work for you. On top of that, different toys feel different depending on how rewired you are.
Recommendations for
Static Prostate Massagers
So here’s my suggestion: Get the Pure Wand from Njoy. Period.
The construction is immaculate. The design is perfect. I love the steel. Because it’s hard and has no give, it also means you get complete control with total clarity about what you’re feeling.
It has two sides with different sizes, so it can grow with you. You can insert it deeper or not. And its design works both hands-free and using your hands to help.
Are there downsides?
Well, there’s more of a learning curve to it.
Don’t expect to just take it out of the box and slam it in.
But that’s also the beauty of it. It will reward your level of skill more than any other toy. The more better you are at feeling your body, the better it gets.
To an extent, other prostate massagers leave you at the mercy of their size and shape. Not all of them will fit your anatomy.
Is this an inherently bad thing? Not really. It’s just the nature of the beast. But you should know about it.
Overall, there are a lot of great products out there that can do the trick for you.
The biggest player is Aneros.
They’re very well engineered. I’m a big fan of their products.
It’s clear they’ve spent some time on the design, because they really do hit the spot in a nuanced and subtle way that many massagers don’t. Even though I have a minor beef with their instructions, it doesn’t change the fact that their products are excellent.
In particular, the MGX Syn Trident is really nice and has a great feel to it. I also like the newly redesigned Progasm and the Helix Syn Trident. It’s very easy to use, and it has a fuller feeling to it.
Also, along with the Pure Wand, most of the Njoy toys are great.
You don’t hear as much talk about the Pure Plugs in the prostate play universe as some of the other toys. I suspect it’s because they’re positioned as butt plugs instead of prostate massagers, but they still do the trick, and they do it quite well.
The feel you get from steel is just so unique.
And one specific endorsement: even though building up to the Pure Plug XL might take some doing, it’s uh-freaking-mazing.
OK, lastly, let me add one final suggestion.
Don’t forget about the OG of sex toys: Dildos.
For some people, they just work better.
If you’re straight, the idea can take a little getting used to. I get it.
But they do the job, and, honestly, even though sexuality is a super-loaded sort of subject, defining yourself by the type of sex toy you use is ridiculous. It’s just a tool.
Not to mention dildos come in all sorts of shapes and forms. You don’t have to go realistic. In fact, a lot of dildos bare more of a resemblance to modern art than any type of anatomy you know. So there’s that.
Textures vary dramatically from the more realistic dual-density silicone designs that feel more like the real thing to glass, which has its own uniquely satisfying feel.
All in all, it’s very personal. But I’ll throw out one recommendation: The Naked Addiction from BMS factory.
Why this one? Simple. It’s not too big, it’s not too small, the texture is really good, and it’s more affordable than most dual-density options without any sacrifice in quality.
Recommendations for
Mechanical Prostate Massagers
OK, moving on to toys that vibrate and move.
Once nice thing about mechanical toys is that the more the toy does for you, the greater the chance that you’ll be able to hit O-town right from the start. So there’s that.
But keep in mind cuts both ways.
The thing is, even a vibrating toy won’t get most people to the finish line at first.
And that means you’ll still need to rewire and build up your skill.
So my line of thinking is why not put faith in yourself, and focus on the skills? Skills stay with you. Skills let you tackle things one step at a time. And even though it feels good, vibration and movement actually diminish the nuances of the experience.
It’s like the difference between a scalpel and a sledgehammer.
The thing is there’s really more this than just an out-of-this-Earth, nerve-shattering orgasm.
It’s ridiculously rewarding to get to know your own body. The ability to feel more and have total control over your own pleasure—so much so that just knowing how to focus the right way and breathe with the pattern can flood your body with bliss—is an amazing thing.
And that’s what you learn when you focus on skills and change the qualities of your body.
But with that said, I know my first thought at the start was just: Show me the orgasm.
And I do think there’s a higher chance that a toy that does the work for you will get you there early on.
Plus, they still feel really good.
So if you go the mechanical route for your first toy, just remember that they can be a little hit or miss and they get pretty pricey.
If you have cash to spare, all good. If you don’t, I’d start with something simpler and just practice, because it’s really frustrating to toss out a wad of cash only to realize you’re basically chucking it down the drain.
OK. My recommendations.
The first is the Lelo Hugo. It’s remote controlled, it’s water proof, it’s powerful, and it lasts a good, long while. They also created a neat trick with the remote. You can set it so the amount you tilting it controls the intensity, and it’s a lot of fun.
Very similar to the Hugo, there’s also the Lovense Edge 2. If you need a massager that’s adjustable or that has an app, this is the one. It’s battery life is a little shorter than the Hugo and the vibration isn’t as intense, but it’s a great product with its own advantages.
The next recommendation is the Lelo Loki Wave.
This one is a little tricker, so let me explain. I actually prefer the Loki, because I think it’s more versatile, but I’m suggesting the Wave, because it’s more likely to help you climax even when you’re a total beginner.
Again, remember that it won’t work for everyone.
But if you really wanted to find a device that does all the work for you? I pick the Loki Wave.
The other key: Lube
There are, I kid you not, truckloads of discussions about lube.
But, honestly, if you have the right skills, it won’t matter. And if you don’t, lube won’t fix things.
So here’s all I have to say: Apply generously.
Also, use the one appropriate to your toy.
If your massager is made of silicone, use something water-based. I recommend Sliquid Sassy. It’s awesome.
If your toy is made of plastic or metal, I prefer silicone-based lubes. They last a long time and they’re slippery. I use Uber Lube, because the dispenser works well, but I think Pjur Backdoor is a little better. Both will do the trick.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that there are also oil-based lubes. Organic shea butter works great. Takes a little more work, so I don’t typically go this route, but it will do what you need it to do.
OK. Moving on.
How to Create Unbearable Pleasure in Your Prostate
A quick PSA before getting into it: Mindset, mindset, mindset.
There is just no way to overemphasize this.
Any time you’re not getting there, the reason is probably mindset. You’re not relaxed enough. You’re trying too hard. You’re obsessing about the goal. Something like that.
Be like Elsa. Let it go.
And on those lines, be sure to slot in ample time for your sessions. Do not rush. An hour is on the short side, but doable if you’re in a pinch. Two hours is better.
Now onto the four steps.
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Step 1: Getting Turned On
Just like penises, prostates swell up when you’re feeling frisky.
And much the same way stroking a cock doesn’t feel all that great when you’re not in the mood, stuffing something up your butt sure as heck doesn’t, either.
So take the time to get yourself a little frisky.
Have at it. Porn. Light penile stroking. Fantasize. You know how it goes. Just don’t jerk off, and if you’re feeling horny, you’re good to go.
Step 2: Warming Up
Basic warm-up routines are as you’d think. A warm bath or shower. Some music. Have a cup of tea. Sit for a little bit. Meditate.
But here’s the thing.
No matter how relaxed you are, if you go into the session and you just ram and jam, your warm-up routine isn’t going to help. And at the very same time, if you really know how to feel deep into your body, you won’t need a warm-up.
So, sure. Warm-up to start, but in the longterm, develop a practice mindset.
That means a mindset where you don’t obsess about results. Treat each session like practice. And like any form of practice, make it your goal just to improve a bit. That’s all you need.
Ironically, by trying less, you’ll get more out of it.
A practice mindset is like a pressure valve that lets you stay focused.
Step 3: How to Position Your Body
There are a lot of body positions that work, and over time, you’ll figure it out, but here are three basics starters just to get you going.
If it’s your first time, I’d suggest lying on your back with your knees up. This is a classic position, and it’s very versatile.
Just lie on your back with your knees close together and facing up, while you keep your feet flat. Simple.
You can use a pillow, but you might find that the cerebrospinal fluid helps transmit nerve signals more freely in your body if you keep your head flat. It’s not everything, but the point is, small little details can matter, so play with it.
And be sure to be comfortable.
The second position is lying on your side. This position also gets high marks. Be sure to try both the left and right sides, because some people have a distinct preference for one over the other.
Start out by letting the bottom leg rest straight, then pull in your top leg, so the knee is closer to your chest.
Finally, you can try belly down with your penis tucked between your legs pointing towards your feet. This position is a little less common, but I really like it, because you get some penile stimulation from the downward pressure, even though it stays light enough not to be distracting.
Step 4: Diving in to Prostate Stimulation
You don’t have to, but if you want to find your prostate, you can insert your finger into your butt.
It’s easier to find your prostate if you’re turned on, but either way, feel around for a slightly hard bump on the side facing your belly. It’s about the size of a walnut, and it’s an inch or two in.
Most people expect it to be deeper.
Just notice what you feel inside, so you can recognize the feeling later.
But with that said, even though knowing your anatomy is helpful, it’s really the feelings that are key. In fact, I’m quite convinced that a lot of people climax thinking they’re hitting their prostate when they really aren’t.
So don’t worry about getting too fussy about everything.
So here’s what you need to do…
Remember. The techniques themselves are just a way to help you rewire yourself. It’s the changes to your body you’re really after. The more rewired you get, the better things will feel and the more you’ll realize that the techniques are just loose guidelines.
But, as with anything, you’ve gotta get started somewhere.
Understanding Your Pleasure Muscles
In the first stage of the rewiring process you want to build a basic awareness of two muscles: The PC (that’s short for pubococcygeus — talk about a mouthful) and the sphincter.
What’ll happen is when you squeeze these muscles with a prostate massager inserted, it will press the massager into your prostate. If you’re rewired, that feels really freaking good.
Eventually, you’ll want to be able to independently tense them at different levels of intensity without needing to think about it.
So what’s the PC muscle, you ask?
It’s the muscle you squeeze when you want to stop the flow of pee. And the sphincter is the muscle you squeeze to hold off from, well, pooping.
Even though the PC is a bigger deal for most people, work on both muscles.
By applying different balances of tension between the PC and the sphincter you can change how the massager presses against your P-spot varying the pleasure.
Also, a quick note. When you try this in the beginning, it might feel like you need to pee. Ignore it. If it helps, empty your bladder, so you’re not worried about it. Over time, this feeling goes away.
Inserting the Massager
Now that you’re familiar with your PC and sphincter, you’re ready to insert your prostate massager.
If you’re using a Pure Wand or similar toy, you’ll need to play with the depth a little bit. Most dedicated prostate massagers, on the other hand, simply go in the way they go in.
Either way, be gentle.
If the sphincter muscles are tight, it gets pretty uncomfortable. And they’ll be tight at first. So go slow. Over time, they’ll naturally relax.
How to Squeeze Away and Love It
Now that you’ve got the massager inside, you need to squeeze.
I’m going to focus on a hands-free approach in this walkthrough. Hands-free means you’re exclusively using your PC and sphincter to massage the prostate without using your hands to move it(though you’re welcome to try the other way, too).
If you’re using something like the Pure Wand, you’ll need to find a way to keep it in place. One way is clasping it between your legs. For some people, lying sideways is easier. Again, play with it.
1. Start with the PC
Start out by squeezing your PC anywhere from 10% to 50%. Squeeze it for 5 seconds, then relax for 5 seconds. Then do it over again.
Mind you, you’re free to squeeze harder if you want. That’s perfectly fine for now. But in the long term, you want to squeeze lightly so you can focus on what your body feels in response.
Also, timing is also flexible. It doesn’t have to be 5 seconds on and 5 off. Shorten the times, lengthen them. Play with it.
Above all, observe carefully.
Really put your attention into your prostate and savor every little feeling.
What feels good? What do you notice about the sensations? Your body? Does moving the toy position change things? How do different intensities affect you? Get microscopic.
2. Moving on to the Sphincter
Now go through the same process with just the sphincter, contracting and releasing at different intensities for different times.
Again, observe carefully.
3. Coordinate the Two
Once you’re comfortable with both muscles independently, try tensing both the PC and the sphincter together.
At first, squeeze both of them at the same intensity. Then, as you get used to it, vary the pressure between them. For example, you could do 50% on the PC and 20% on the sphincter. 10% on the PC and 30% on the sphincter. You get the idea.
Don’t get too technical. Just focus on what you feel.
The main goal here is to develop your coordination to the point that it’s intuitive, while figuring out what you like.
As a plus, you’ll naturally be rewiring yourself in the process.
Step 5: What to Think About To Stay Aroused
OK. Last thing.
You might be wondering. Just what are you supposed to think about as you’re lying there squeezing away?
Let me introduce the Bumper Technique.
So, a couple ground rules.
First, stay away from videos that require any type of deep story. It’s too easy for your mind to wander. Also stay away from fantasies that require a lot of thinking for the same reason.
Focus on porn and fantasy that’s immediate. As much as possible, they should immediately arouse you.
Remember, you want to use your time to sink into the feelings in your body, not get into your head.
So why use porn at all? Well, naturally, sometimes you need to amp yourself up a little. And sometimes, it’s hard to stay so focused on your body that your mind doesn’t wander.
Personally, I don’t like looking at anything. I find it too distracting.
Instead, I come in with a set of visuals and short “movie clips” stored in my mind, and whenever things slow down, I go to that mental slide deck.
So, here’s how the Bumper Technique works.
Think of it like those bumpers they use for kids at bowling alleys.
If you’re feeling good and everything is on target, just stay focused on what you feel. But when things start to look like they’re going off the rails, use porn or fantasy.
They’re like the bumpers to put you back on track.
But you want to use the stimulation from your prostate to get turned on as much as possible.
For me, the further I go into the session, the less I go to my mental slide deck.
So, at first, I do a little more back and forth between feeling my prostate and dipping into my slide deck, but pretty quickly, the sensations take on a life of their own, and as it does, I just let those feelings take over.
So there you have it. The Bumper Technique.
So What Next?
Once you’ve got these three steps baked into your system, your body will tell you what it likes. At first, it’s subtle, like a whisper, but it’s always there. You just have to learn to sense it and trust yourself to figure it out. You will.
And the more you notice the small feelings, the more the big feelings will come.
Here are some of the signs telling you you’re headed in the right direction:
- Tingly jolts of pleasure running through your penis
- Heat pooling in your pelvis
- Involuntary muscular movements
- A gushy sense of energy moving around your body
- Mini-orgasms that feel like you’re coming even though you aren’t
- A general sense of euphoria and bliss
- A sense that your body is moving on its own
Above all, things will just start to feel good, and you won’t need to chase it.
Now, two common questions.
Question 1: Can I stroke my penis?
The simple answer: Don’t.
It’s just easiest to treat your penis like a no-touch zone.
Technically, this isn’t true. In fact, it can work really well to use light stroking. But most people overdo it and get hooked on it.
You have to teach your body to treat your prostate as the primary source of pleasure. But if you rely on penis play, the sensations will overwhelm any prostate pleasure that’s going on.
So if you do any form of stroking, go light.
Question 2: What if nothing happens?
The short answer: Be patient and stay relaxed.
Sometimes, the feelings fade. Usually, people start to push at this point, but what you really want is to just let them come back. The more you trust this feelings, the more likely it happens.
And if the feelings don’t come back?
Don’t sweat it. Prostates can be finicky.
Sometimes, your body just isn’t in the mood. If so, no big deal. Just try again later.
The Super Quick Recap
- Start with a light warm up routine to relax. More than anything, it’s about getting your mind into your body, so you stay relaxed.
- Get your prostate in the mood with some light porn or physical stimulation.
- Insert the toy gently with generous amounts of lube.
- Use light pressure on your prostate by controlling your PC and sphincter at different intensities and patterns. Notice the small things. Get really granular.
And One Last Thing
If you’re thinking bout diving in, be sure to check out the advanced guide, where you can hear me berate you more about building up skills.
I’ll cover the deeper levels of rewiring and show you what’s really going on.
But don’t do it until you’re ready.
Like this, it’s big and long and detailed. Even longer than this.
In it, I go deep into the principles at play, then I show you exactly how to juice up your inner arousal in a very different way. More importantly, I’ll break down the Supercharger Model for you.
But, again, be ready for it.