If you’ve given it a shot, but you’ve struggled to have a Super-O, here’s a very different take on prostate orgasms to get you where you want to go.
(Note: This is intermediate level material. If you’ve never heard of a prostate orgasm before, and you’re not sure how to get started, check out the prostate orgasm primer here.)
Heat ripped through my body in waves of pleasure, and I couldn’t do a damned thing to stop it. More and more and more. Tensing. Pulsing. At one point, I did start to think: Maybe this is feeling a bit too good?
Then all of the sudden, it disappeared.
I had no idea how it came. I had no idea why it left. But after months chasing down the right toy, the right lube, learning the best way to contract muscles I had never even heard of, and who knows how many other “secret” techniques, one thing was clear:
Not a single thing anyone told me was the real key to having a prostate orgasm.
It took another half year on a very strange journey to figure out what I wasn’t seeing. A journey that would take me deep into neuroscience, ancient medicine, thousand-year-old rituals, and breath work bordering on mysticism among many other things.
Now, don’t get me wrong with what I’m about to say.
Prostate orgasms are absolutely what they’re cracked up to be. In no uncertain terms, they will blitz your world. Waves of throbbing pleasure in every part of your body? Check. Multiple orgasms? Check. Lasting for hours and hours? Check. You can just keep going and going until you’re a hot, quivering pool of bliss.
But with that said, if you’re in the group of people who aren’t naturally “gifted” in this area (yep, that’s me), having a prostate orgasm can be damned hard.
Yes. Some people will have it easy. Which is awesome. But what do you do when it’s not?
I felt like a stranger plunged into a strange land where up was down and left was right. A world populated by terms like P-waves, involuntariness, dry orgasms, wet orgasms, and, of course, Super-Os that would eventually become my daily life.
I spent months pouring through post after post, plowing through forums, and chasing down articles just to make marginal progress.
Cracking the code was like opening a Russian nesting doll.
Every answer was just another question.
Worse, everything felt random. Sometimes things worked. Sometimes they didn’t. Even when I thought I was doing the exact same thing. Every experience was a different ride.
Eventually, I’d become an expert in things I had never even given a second’s thought in my life.
Questions about plugs? Metal? Plastic? Squishier? Harder? Vibrating? Moving? You name it, I’ve got some thoughts. And, of course, there was lube. I didn’t even know it was possible to think so much about it. Is oil-based better or silicone? How about hybrids? Shea butter? Do you need to inject it? Or can you just slather it generously?
Which is all to say, I’ve been through a lot.
And over these next several pages, I’ll break down what I’ve learned.
Where we go from here: A quick warning.
A quick heads up: If you’ve read this far, but you have absolutely no idea what a prostate orgasm is, you might want to hold off for a little while. I’m going to go into a lot of detail about things that won’t make sense if you’ve never, ever heard about prostate orgasms. If that’s the case, I’d suggest you check out the Prostate Play Primer instead.
Because I go into details that very specific and rarely discussed, this material isn’t meant for the absolute beginner.
Some of the things I’ll cover:
- The really dull, but surprisingly effective way to constant build more and more pleasure by taking advantage of how your body stores “energy.”
- The problem with rewiring and why so much of the advice out there about rewiring can work against you even when it’s the technically right.
- How too much pleasure can be a bad thing, creating a “pleasure trap” that stops you from reaching orgasm. Weirdly, when things feel too good, it can lead to a dead end.
- Why the Aneros instructions, which is similar to the process most of us start off with, are really backwards, despite being technically true.
- Why you don’t need toys, lube, or anything else you’ve probably been told you need to climax, even when you’re just a beginner
- A full breakdown of a very different 3-part model based on human physiology that I picked up by way of Anthony Bourdain.
The Prostate Toy That Started It All
So there it was. A silky black sex toy from a company named Aneros lying on my desk.
I held it up to the light, my eyelids pinched together.
“Really?” I thought.
I was skeptical. I mean, honestly, the whole process sounded like voodoo. But there was account after account. Ridiculous stuff that went beyond what I imagined a body could feel. Curiosity won out in the end.
I opened the box. I did a once over on the instructions. Settled in. Set the mood. Played some music. Relaxed as thoroughly as I knew how. Then I slipped onto my bed, waiting for the magic to happen.
Just like the instructions said, I gave my PC muscle a squeeze.
Nothing.
“Huh. Maybe I needed to lie on my back instead of the side.” Nope. Squeeze harder? Uh-uh. My eyebrows scrunched up. I was unimpressed. But I’m like a pitbull when I fail. I hate failing, so it only made me more determined.
Most days, I felt pretty unsatisfied. Sometimes, I even got bored or fell asleep. But mind-altering? Not so much.
There were some glimmers.
Tingles. Twitches. Propulsive explosions of pleasure shooting through me for a split second. But trying to hold the feeling was like trying to hold onto air.
All the while, one word kept bouncing around my brain: Rewiring
Rewiring: The End All and Be All. Sort of.
If you’ve done some research, you’ve probably heard the term rewiring. If not, basically, the idea is simple. You need to rework your brain to interpret feelings and sensations differently.
At a basic level, that just means making prostate stimulation feel good.
But that’s actually the easy part.
In fact, if you just keep at it long enough, usually, your body will start to figure out how to make it feel good.
The hard part is learning to deepen and expand the sensation once you do feel good. After all, in the simplest of terms, if you know how to make the sensation big enough, of course you’ll eventually get your Super-O.
But there’s a catch: There’s a good chance the sensation you want to expand isn’t quite what you think.
Or, another way to put it is that, yes, rewiring is the bees knees. But you have to know what you’re trying to rewire.
The Anthony Bourdain Solution Part 1
Sometimes, you find answers in the weirdest places.
One day, I was reading about Anthony Bourdain in his book, Kitchen Confidential, when suddenly it hit me smack between the eyes.
I was doing it all wrong.
By this point, I had been working on a prostate orgasm for a good while, and I had gotten to the point where I was feeling something pretty good pretty regularly. But I knew there was something I just wasn’t seeing. Everything felt haphazard.
So let me set the stage. Bear with me.
I want you to start by thinking about your typical kid trying broccoli for the first time. Let’s call him Johnny. (This will make sense in a bit. Hang in there.)
So there’s Johnny scrunching up his eyebrows, giving the broccoli a sidelong glance. He’s doubtful. Slowly, he raises the fork to his mouth. He licks it. He makes a face. He takes the tiniest nibble known to human kind. And…blech. Gross. Never again. Broccoli sucks.
I was Johnny when it came to prostate orgasms.
But Bourdain was very different.
Even as a kid, he saw himself as a culinary explorer, bold and fearless. He chased down the weirdest, funkiest foods with reckless abandon. He ate everything. And whether it tasted good or not he made himself appreciate it and even like it.
What’s this have to do with prostate play?
Well, as it turns out, everything.
Think of it like this: There are two types of people. Seekers and chasers.
It’s not genetic or anything. You can decide who you want to be.
But chasers are always looking to the next thing to find their solutions. If something doesn’t work, they just give up and try something else. They figure there’s always another answer to hunt down.
And this creates a problem.
Take Johnny. Maybe if he kept trying, he’d have come to appreciate broccoli by try #12 and loved it by try #39. That type of thing happens all the time. Tastes change.
But the problem with the chaser mindset is you never settle in enough for that to happen.
Seekers, on the other hand, find more in what’s there.
So they stick with things, teasing out the nuances and figuring things out.
It so happens that’s everything with prostate orgasms.
Sure, it feels like the answer is right around the bend. You think you just need one more piece of the puzzle for it all to come together. But prostate play is subtle and elusive. The key isn’t getting the information. It’s learning how to use all of the information you get.
You have to play with things. Experiment. Let your body learn.
Or to put it another way, you have to have a seeker mindset.
Because what you’re experiencing is a moving target. You think you’re experiencing one thing, but then, next thing you know, you realize it isn’t.
So much so, in fact, that you can even have an orgasm without knowing it. I know how bizarre that sounds, but for the moment, just stay with me, and let the main point sink in a bit: You don’t always understand what you’re feeling.
This is, to put it lightly, a huge deal.
Because what it really means is that you can’t always trust your initial impressions.
Or to put it another way, your sensations will change, your body will change, and feelings that are barely on the radar will eventually hit with whirlwind force.
Which is why some of the things we’ll cover here will let you…
- Understand what you’re really feeling.
- Find the right places inside your body to focus on
- Develop the specific sensations you need to climax.
But you need to see the world as a seeker to make this all work.
Now, before we get going, three final things.
Thing 1: This is going to take some focus.
I train people in energy work, which has come to include orgasms and prostate play (something I’d never, ever have dreamed I’d do in my life), and over and over, I see the same thing. It’s dead obvious, but, somehow, I feel I need to say it anyway:
People who put in the work get the results.
Yeah, obvious, I know.
But what I really mean here is that a deep willingness to explore and try and be a seeker makes a real difference. It’s not just about being patient while you read through this. It’s about settling into your actual sessions with the right mindset.
And you see this in one story after the next across different groups and in different posts, all saying the same thing: How you focus your mind and how willing you are to settle into things is everything.
Prostate orgasms are ridiculously powerful, but they’re also wickedly subtle and incredibly finicky.
Distraction, impatience, and mindset will kill your path to the Super-O.
Thing 2: People aren’t robots
Everyone is different. And, as such, people get different results from different actions.
I get that some people nail it after a few strokes on the magic P-spot. I get that the Aneros instructions, which are problematic for many (we’ll get into that), gets some people an express trip to pleasureville.
So if that’s you, have at it.
Again, this is all about what to do when the easy way doesn’t work. Because we’re all different. Some things will work for you. Some won’t. Some things I’ll talk about won’t matter to you at all. And sometimes, you can even do the exact opposite of what I say and get amazing results.
But by and large, what I’m really doing is laying out a framework.
This is a way to wrap your head around something incredibly vague.
Also, let me add that this is substantially researched.
Unfortunately, there’s no Prostate Orgasms ‘R Us and no one place that houses all the answers. But it turns out if you research enough disciplines, read enough posts, and dig into different models about how the body works, there are patterns, and that’s what I’ll break down along with insights from my own experiences.
Thing 3: Instant ain’t all it’s cracked up to be
Neither is bright and shiny. Or magic secrets drowned in sparkle dust.
This isn’t that type of information, because that type of information is easily misleading and often fails.
You know what they say. A little information is a dangerous thing.
After all, you wouldn’t just pick up a tennis racket and expect to be Federer would you? You need to give it some time and do the work. But if you do, you’ll avoid all sorts of gotchas and traps along the way.
And fortunately, when it comes to prostate orgasms, it’s immensely pleasurable work. Even if you don’t hit pay dirt straight out of the gates, hot damn it will feel good.
So let me make you a deal.
If you give me your time and energy, I’ll give you the best that I’ve got.
I think you’ll see that these next several pages aren’t a fluff pitch. Even though I teach what I talk about here, I didn’t hold back and I didn’t hide the secrets. I’m painting the whole picture for you.
You ready?
Good. Let’s go.
Summing It Up
- It’s true that rewiring is the key. After all, all learning requires some sort of rewiring. But you have to know the right things to rewire.
- There are two types of people: seekers and chasers. Adopting a seeker mindset, where you’re willing to look past what’s there on the surface is the key to successful prostate play.